Thursday, May 21, 2009

"Are you afraid?"

Him: Are you afraid?
me: Yes...I am afraid.
Him: Haven't I shown you that I am able to care for you?
me: Yes. You've always done that. Even when I'm not good.
Him: When exactly were you ever "good" enough? Enough to "deserve" what you've been given?
me: That's just it. I haven't ever deserved it. Any of it. And yet You've never stopped helping.
Him: And you were expecting what instead? That I would test you first? Or wait until you did things just right? Do you really know that little about Me?
me: I...It's just that the gap is so vast between us. And even between what I am now and what I know I'm supposed to seems impossible that I will ever, EVER make up the difference. Even the part that is mine to make up.
Him: What would you have Me do?
me: The thing I'm afraid that I've lost my chance. That I waited too long...and listened to my fears more than to my heart...until it was too late.
Him: Would I still be giving you stories if I thought you could no longer tell them?
me: I...I hope not.
Him: The moment you let the fear go...all of it...That will be the beginning of knowing Me...for where I am there is no let it go.
me: ...I'm afraid...


  1. My face cannot stop smiling right now. Thanks Dad.

  2. My soul cannot stop smiling right now... Thanks Scott and Kenz...

    That was AMAZING writing and insight. Thank you. I appreciated the symbolism of "me" being with a lower case m.

  3. Did you write this? Its lovely.